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人生下半场,拼的是“后退力”

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人生下半场,拼的是“后退力”

文/霖筱筱

张泉灵去年在北大深研院的演讲里,举过一个例子让我记忆深刻。

有一只鸡,它想飞过在它面前很高的栅栏,可怎么扑腾也飞不过去,试了好多次,面红耳赤,一地鸡毛。但是有一次它往后退几步,突然发现那个看起来很高的栅栏,其实只有一米宽,它是可以绕过去的……

所以,在我看来,跟你眼前最近的一个目标保持一点距离,就是有趣的开始。但是要退开一米,并不是一件容易的事情。

很多人年轻时,经验尚浅,遇见问题的时候,只懂得像这只鸡一样,本着“迎难而上”“越挫越勇”的精神,试图超越它打败它,结果却输得狼狈不堪。

有时候,往后退一步,沉淀一下,说不定会发现更便捷的办法,能飞得更远。

最近大火的短剧《在所有想见的地方》,请来了胡歌和汤唯担任主演。

汤唯并不像某些女星那样,一开始就顺风顺水,走着偶像、女神路线,有流量,有金钱。

考戏剧学院三年,大家都说她这样的没有人会看”。

直到2007年,汤唯出演了李安执导的电影《色·戒》,该片在威尼斯国际电影节荣获最佳影片“金狮奖”。

可是,很快《色·戒》就被“封杀”了,连带着汤唯的演藝事业也降到冰点。

怎么办?

换作是一般的明星,要么会疯狂地刷存在感,甚至为搏出位而剑走偏锋,又或者一蹶不振,自怨自艾,从此对这个圈子产生怨恨。

汤唯去英国充电学习,磨砺演技。后来还挤进了英国时尚圈,一度成为大名鼎鼎的服装设计师加雷的御用模特。

到了2009年,汤唯接到与张学友合作电影《月满轩尼诗》的片约,才算正式“解禁”。

之后的汤唯,演艺事业越发顺畅。与玄彬主演的《晚秋》,让她成为韩国电影史上第一位获得最佳女主演的外国女演员;与吴秀波主演的《北京遇上西雅图》也被誉为新时代的爱情经典。

现在看来,汤唯当初的后退,并不是无奈选择,而是深思熟虑后的沉潜。

去年,我们公司业绩饱和,遇到瓶颈,让我很着急。

后来我就想,先这样吧,不折腾了,放一段时间看看。

我主动撤离前线,推掉了很多应酬,同事们都说我“销声匿迹”了。

我开始看书,重拾了写作,在个人公众号定期更新原创文章,把所感所得分享到朋友圈。

这些看似与工作毫不相干的事情,却给我带来了意外的惊喜。

有个超级客户的boss看到我的文章后,主动联系我。

现在想想,我那时看似后退了,但实际上却是在进步。

就如张泉灵所说的:

“这个人生当中,你们未来会碰到的绝大多数职场里的郁闷和感情生活里的挫折,不过是一米宽的栅栏。当我们面对栅栏的时候,不要急着拼命去跨越它,试着后退一点,或许会发现更好的方法。”

所以,后退,其实是为了更好地成长。

“后退力”,不是要埋没你的才智,而是为下一次前进时储备更大的力量。

“后退力”,不是让你一蹶不振,而是借机不断完善自我。

“后退力”,不是让你逃避问题,而是给你多一种选择的可能。

人生上半场,也许拼的是激情与执着;人生下半场,拼的就是你后退的空间与能量。

英文版:

The person is delivered of half of a game or contest, those who go all out is ” of “ regressive force

Thin bamboo of article / continuous heavy rain

Zhang Quan spirit ground greatly in Beijing University last year in the speech of the courtyard, had lifted an example to let me remember profundity.

Have a chicken, it wants to had flown very tall before it barrier, how can move up and down also fly to go nevertheless, tried a lot of times, be flushed, one ground chicken feather. But once its in the future removes a few conditions, discover that barrier that looks very tall suddenly, have a meter wide only actually, it is the …… that can circle the past

So, look in me, with you at the moment a recent target maintains a bit distance, begin interestingly namely. But should retreat a meter, not be an easy thing.

When a lot of people are young, experience is still shallow, when encountering a problem, know only like this chicken, it is difficult to act on “ to greet and go up the spirit that ”“ jumps over defeat to jump over brave ” , try to surmount it to defeat it, the result is defeated however like a drowned mouse.

Occasionally, in the future removes one condition, precipitate, perhaps can discover more convenient way, can fly further.

The playlet of the closest conflagration " the place in all infer " , invited Hu Ge and Shang Wei to hold the position of a main actor.

Shang Wei does not resemble certain female star in that way, downwind at the beginning downstream, taking course of God, goddess, have flow, have money.

Take an examination of Thespian institute 3 years, everybody says her such doing not have the person can look ” .

Till 2007, shang Wei goes out performed Li An hold the film that guide " lubricious · give up " , this have the honor to win ” of award of lion of gold of optimal film “ in Venetian international film festival.

But, very fast " lubricious · give up " with respect to the ” that be banned by “ , the career performing Shu of implicative Shang Wei also falls freezing point.

How to do?

Be being changed is general star, or can brush existence wildly to feel, go out for wrestle even and the sword goes slant sharp edge, or cannot recover after a setback, full of remorse, generate resentment to this circle from now on.

Shang Wei goes to England filling electric study, acting of go through the mill. Still squeeze into British vogue to encircle later, the dress stylist that becomes famous for a time adds the model of for use of an emperor of thunder.

Arrived 2009, shang Wei is received with film of Zhang Xueyou collaboration " the month is full Xuan Ni poem " film contract, just calculate ” of formal “ lift a ban.

The Shang Wei later, act art the career is even more smooth. Act the leading role with Xuan Bin " late autumn " , let her become Korea the first foreign country actress that wins optimal female main actor; Act the leading role with Wu Xiubo " Beijing meets Xiyatu " the love that also is known as new era is classical.

Look now, shang Wei at the outset regressive, not be helpless choice, however cogitative after heavy go.

Last year, our company outstanding achievement is saturated, encounter bottleneck, make me very anxious.

I think later, first such, not do sth over and over again, put period of time to look.

I withdraw front actively, turned a lot of dinner parties, work in the same placing say my “ disappears from the scene ” .

I begin to read a book, picked up writing again, achieve an article newlier formerly regularly in individual public date, share place feeling earnings to the friend to encircle.

These seeing seem as irrelevant as working fine long hair thing, brought accident surprise to me however.

After the Boss that has a super client sees my article, contact me actively.

Think now, I look in those days be like backed down, but it is however actually in progress.

What if Zhang Quan is clever,say:

“ this individual is unripe in the center, in the field of great majority duty that you can be not come up against depressed with the setback in emotional life, it is a meter wide barrier nevertheless. When we face the barrier, not rapid move spans desperately it, try to back down a bit, can discover better method probably. ”

So, regressive, it is to grow better actually.

” of “ regressive force, not be the ability and wisdom that should bury you, it is the power with the greater reserve when advancing the next time however.

” of “ regressive force, not be to let your cannot recover after a setback, borrow however opportunity is ceaseless and perfect ego.

” of “ regressive force, not be to let you evade an issue, give you the possibility of many kinds of choice however.

Life first half, what perhaps go all out is passion and persistence; The person is delivered of half of a game or contest, those who go all out is your regressive space and energy.

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